My apartment.
My automobile.
My possessions.
My block.
My town.
My city.
My family.
My friends.
My co workers.
My life.
My world.
My existence.
As I Know It--Will Soon Disintegrate.
Right before my eyes.
Am I crazy to welcome this change?
No, no...just...
Finally walking to my edge and plunging into the future that was written
in the stars for me.
Shiny, bright, and lighting up my sky.
Aw, so refreshing is the moon, my universal home...
Look up there my friends and think of me.
And know I'm thinking of you too.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Sweet like Sugar
Tripping, falling, HARD into a darkness that clouds this mind of mine.
Oh, how I search for a drastic distraction...
All I find is myself face-to-face with reality, yes--
A healthy embrace includes No escape.
Breathe and allow the shift to take hold.
A grand beginning awaits just around that corner...
I smile a great big smile; my dimples pinch my cheeks.
The mystery of tomorrow -- feeds my today.
Passionately I kiss the lips of my future OH how sweet it surely tastes.
Oh, how I search for a drastic distraction...
All I find is myself face-to-face with reality, yes--
A healthy embrace includes No escape.
Breathe and allow the shift to take hold.
A grand beginning awaits just around that corner...
I smile a great big smile; my dimples pinch my cheeks.
The mystery of tomorrow -- feeds my today.
Passionately I kiss the lips of my future OH how sweet it surely tastes.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
First Journal Entry in Travel
On the second plane to Bali...and overcome with emotions, tears stream down my face. So happy to be here in this time and place. I peer out the window and see a world so brand new below me. All the wonder fills my mind.
So thankful to be healthy and alive. This is THE LIFE. This is living.
How would I have felt to have given this up for anyone or anything. Nobody deserves to take this from me. Love will be there-- in one form or another. If it's only while laying on the bed with Jaylen as he lays his head on my pillow, looks me in the eyes and says "I wuv you". I could live with that forever. Some day, when the planets align--it will happen for me! And I'm no longer worried, waiting or seeking that day. I have faith that it will be there exactly when I need it.
The cotton ball clouds comfort all of me. The undiscovered land below calls my name. How did I almost let this experience dissolve right before my eyes. How did I almost let him take this from me...I am so proud of myself for being strong, standing my ground, and staying true to myself.
I walk through this journey with an open mind and an open heart--hoping to grow and become the best I can be. I truly believe the best of me comes from exploring the world--engaging in culture and in people. This is my passion. It may be a passion that creates inability for "socially correct" relationships, but I believe that there is a reason for this and a reason for me. I think most people look down upon the "unconventional" life. The wanderer is not usually the one we look up to. We call them crazy, we call them reckless, but I on the other hand, call them my HERO.
It's crazy how your mind plays tricks on you. How can I sit at home and think about flying and be so terrified and when I'm actually doing it, I am so at ease. I love the beauty I see as I look down at the world below. I truly feel alive. Never will I put myself on the sideline. Call it selfish but this is the only way to enrich my life and become a better person. I am so excited to meet new people from all over the world--to hear their stories, to be moved by their experiences. I'm excited to become more human, more well-rounded; I'm excited to be an advanced version of who I am today.
I'll be the first to admit giving up a seemingly flawless relationship was difficult but in hindsight, it was far from flawless. And who knows, maybe I will never again find that but I will have done the things that matter to me and that is ALL that matters. I'm so happy I have friends that support me and understand who I am. And what I need. I no longer feel guilty for the choices I've made--I am proud. You can't live your life for anyone but yourself. Some day I'll be ready to start the new chapter but for now I'm exploring the moment.
Float weightlessly through marshmallow air
and wash your fears away.
Trust the moment and accept the embrace...
The possibilities are endless and calling your name.
So thankful to be healthy and alive. This is THE LIFE. This is living.
How would I have felt to have given this up for anyone or anything. Nobody deserves to take this from me. Love will be there-- in one form or another. If it's only while laying on the bed with Jaylen as he lays his head on my pillow, looks me in the eyes and says "I wuv you". I could live with that forever. Some day, when the planets align--it will happen for me! And I'm no longer worried, waiting or seeking that day. I have faith that it will be there exactly when I need it.
The cotton ball clouds comfort all of me. The undiscovered land below calls my name. How did I almost let this experience dissolve right before my eyes. How did I almost let him take this from me...I am so proud of myself for being strong, standing my ground, and staying true to myself.
I walk through this journey with an open mind and an open heart--hoping to grow and become the best I can be. I truly believe the best of me comes from exploring the world--engaging in culture and in people. This is my passion. It may be a passion that creates inability for "socially correct" relationships, but I believe that there is a reason for this and a reason for me. I think most people look down upon the "unconventional" life. The wanderer is not usually the one we look up to. We call them crazy, we call them reckless, but I on the other hand, call them my HERO.
It's crazy how your mind plays tricks on you. How can I sit at home and think about flying and be so terrified and when I'm actually doing it, I am so at ease. I love the beauty I see as I look down at the world below. I truly feel alive. Never will I put myself on the sideline. Call it selfish but this is the only way to enrich my life and become a better person. I am so excited to meet new people from all over the world--to hear their stories, to be moved by their experiences. I'm excited to become more human, more well-rounded; I'm excited to be an advanced version of who I am today.
I'll be the first to admit giving up a seemingly flawless relationship was difficult but in hindsight, it was far from flawless. And who knows, maybe I will never again find that but I will have done the things that matter to me and that is ALL that matters. I'm so happy I have friends that support me and understand who I am. And what I need. I no longer feel guilty for the choices I've made--I am proud. You can't live your life for anyone but yourself. Some day I'll be ready to start the new chapter but for now I'm exploring the moment.
Float weightlessly through marshmallow air
and wash your fears away.
Trust the moment and accept the embrace...
The possibilities are endless and calling your name.
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